by JUSTIN F. MILES
In the Tantric tradition of Tibetan Buddhism, one of the qualities of fundamental reality—(how our mind and material world truly exists)— is vast, endless spaciousness.The space is so vast, in fact, that it cannot be conceptualized. It is beyond labeling and apprehension.
This space is not an empty nothingness. It is actually raw potency—alive, vibrant and awake. Experiencing it is possible through meditative practices that deeply relax the mind and body, which cuts through our attempts at holding onto thoughts, feelings, and material existence.
What holds onto the phenomena arising in our awareness is the ego—which, upon entering into spaciousness via meditation, is uncomfortable with the vastness and needs to secure itself. It’s like if the floor suddenly fell out from under you, or if the sky were suddenly turned upside down: you would find yourself scrambling for something to grab onto; something that would make you feel secure in your new found reality.
The ego finds security by attaching itself: to a name, an identity, a label, a definition of its own existence and environment. But these could never actually provide any real sense of security, because as real as those labels seem, they never describe anything that has any lasting existence. Things are always changing. As soon as we latch onto an object, an idea, or an identity, its inherent instability and insubstantiality begins to reveal itself. With everything and everyone always changing, there is no stability to be found in boundless space, only groundlessness.
This groundlessness creates anxiety and the need to define self and other— what am I? Who am I? What is real? — because if I can define my reality then I can find comfort in it.
But groundlessness can also be the source of peace. In it, we are found as we are, others are found as they are, and objective reality is found as it is. There is no more need to manipulate or to lie to ourselves and others in order to feel relaxed.
When we realize all existence, ourselves included, as uncreated yet potent spaciousness, there is no fear of being destroyed. Just as cosmic bodies won’t destroy the endless fabric of the universe, fear and doubt about our own life and death, when they arise in the mind, don’t destroy our well-being and contentment.
According to the teachings of the Buddha, not being able to abide without fear in that openness is the source of all our suffering. Instead of relaxing in the free-floating nature of things, we engage in passion, aggression, and ignorance, trying to pull things into our lives that produce satisfaction, pushing things away that don’t, and remaining oblivious to how everything truly exists. We just don’t look.
That’s how I think about Hiphop culture. When I contemplate Hiphop, I cannot find any real material or tangible existence. I wonder how it may fundamentally exist. I can’t touch it. I can’t locate it in time and space. It has no shape, color, or place in reference to any other object. You can’t go and get Hiphop, buy Hiphop, practice Hiphop, or attain Hiphop because it is not an object.
In the late 1980’s, before there was such a thing as “not Hiphop”, there was only the feeling that came from witnessing or participating in the culture. There was nothing to measure “real” Hiphop against. So, defining Hiphop as a subtle experience, I can only describe it as a feeling of joy, excitement, and anticipation. The only real definition that I’m left with is that Hiphop is not an object but the experience of spaciousness itself.
Afrika Bambaataa [1] once said that Hiphop is love, peace, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, freedom, and having fun. [2] Those qualities don’t materially exist; you can’t touch fun or peace because they are experiences.
Traditionally, the elements of Hiphop are emceeing, djing, bboying, and graf writing. (Some scholars include knowledge, music production, beatboxing, street fashion, street language and entrepreneurship as well). But what is the link between experiencing Hiphop as its subtle fundamental qualities and engaging in the tangible elements of Hiphop?
An argument could be made that everything I’m positing is invalidated by artists who seem to embrace only the materialistic, violent, and misogynistic aspects of Hiphop. The recent discovery of Afrika Bambaataa’s unforgivable behavior of sexually molesting young Zulu Nation members comes to mind. But, if the qualities of Hiphop were peace and such, wouldn’t those elements be ever-present in the art? What is the link between practicing Hiphop (via emceeing, djing, etc.) and experiencing its more subtle, arguably enlightened, qualities?
As an emcee, dj, beatboxer, and music producer, I’ve had to figure out how to put words together, mix and scratch records, make sounds with my mouth that mimic drum patterns, and chop and sequence samples into tracks worthy of head-nodding. I’ve been able to do these at least well enough to create something that’s enjoyable. But, given enough time, I think that anyone could. That’s part of the beauty of Hiphop: anyone who dedicates themselves to the craft can create something that seems to represent what Hiphop is commonly thought to be.
However, the untouchable experience of Hiphop (i.e. peace, knowledge, etc.) is not a strict matter of behaviorally imitating common elements of Hiphop behavior. The quality of the experience is based on how deeply I can rest with and accept the natural sense of my own being, however I experience it, and express that being through one or more of the material elements. The individual’s experience of trusting in their nature and the innate qualities that arise from it is how we get such a colorful variant of the worldviews expressed in Hiphop music, dance, and art. It is the simple act of self-acceptance and continually paying attention to the mind that gives the artist the ability to transmit something authentic.
How does one accept oneself? How does one return to the experience of the mind? By being with that which one wants to accept and experience. We have to spend time with ourselves intentionally watching who and what we are. As Yogi Berra once said, “It’s amazing what you see when you look.”
Self-acceptance comes from appreciation of my journey in life thus far without the need to edit, elevate, or reduce who I discover myself to be. Continually paying attention looks like returning over and over again to observe the experience of my mind so that I am constantly experiencing a sense of freshness in my art and in my life.
How else will we know what is true? Meditation, maybe. After all, it’s a science and art that has existed for thousands of years to address this very concern. By taking time to watch who we think we are we can become more sure of who we truly are. The Buddhist idea of non-conceptual, natural spaciousness awaits our investigation and discovery. If we commit to meditation as a lifestyle, we may realize that there is a difference between what we see or hold onto and what’s really real.
We can also wake up to a deeper reality by applying a meditative/observational approach to our everyday activities.
For me, one of those activities is freestyle rhyming. I’ve freestyled every day for many years. Aside from the enjoyment of putting words together, freestyling allows me to let go of the need to be anything other than who I am in that moment. I don’t have to be good. I’m not looking for a record deal or to be on TV. I just have to be me and let whatever arises hold its space.
Freestyling forces me to accept that I don’t know what I’m going to say, think, or do in the next moment. Genuinely returning to that place of uncertainty, not spitting a written rhyme or relying on ideas or metaphors that I’ve used in the past, plunges me into groundlessness. I have nothing to hold onto. Like stepping on a sheet of ice, there’s that “oh shit!” feeling and that fear of making a fool out of myself that we are programmed to avoid. That moment is the ego’s way of saying “I’m uncomfortable in spaciousness; I’m falling and I need to find some ground.” So, what do I do? I default to using the comfortable old catchphrase, or the time-tested metaphor or simile.
But what if I stayed in that boundless space, that feeling of uncertainty? What would happen? Would I crash and burn?
How could I? It’s just me. Am I trying to be impressive? Why? If I freestyle in front of others and I don’t come off like Craig G in his prime will I become the laughing stock of the cypher? The question is the problem. When I become more concerned with how I’ll be received instead of accepting how I’m found, my style is no longer free and instead is trapped by the desire to find comfort in the opinions of others.
What if we removed the need to impress anyone and replaced it with just Being?
The point of freestyling does not have to be “to be dope,” the point could be that BEING IS DOPE. Feeling free from having to be anything other than myself is a wonderful experience. Of course, it’s always nice to come off dope in a cypher and I’m not saying anything against that. However, you’ll only really crush it when you allow yourself to embrace the natural openness of your mind and all of the uncertainty/boundlessness that comes with it. When you let go of the need to find security, how you manifest is endless; it is substantive, and it is authentically you.
Notes